Healing the Inner Child

I am crying as I write this blog today. Someone very close to me is trying to heal from sexual abuse that they went through as a child and it is hard to see them go through the hurt that they are still carrying around after all these years. I am so proud of them for facing it head on, refusing to be a victim and working towards healing their emotional and spiritual wounds. But it is hard to witness.

It all partially started because Oprah recently had a special two-part episode on adult male survivors of child abuse. I only saw the second part, but it really, really touched me. At one point, each survivor held up a picture of themselves from when they were kids and this abuse was going on. It was a very powerful visual representation of the horrible loss of innocence that they endured.

Not having been abused myself, I can only imagine what these men went through and how it altered the course of their lives. Each of them were so significantly damaged by what happened, that to this day they still struggle with authority figures, intimacy, self-worth, trust, anger...the list goes on.

How does one heal from such a horrible experience that happened at such a young age? Seriously - regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. I just can't even imagine. It has to be one of the most, horrendous, devastating, traumatizing things that occurs on this earth. These children were abused by the people in their lives who they were supposed to be able to look up to, the people who were supposed to keep them safe and protect them, the people who were supposed to love them. Parents. Teachers. Priests. Family. Friends.

It is ironic that I am blogging on this topic right after blogging on what "evil" means. Because, I tell you, child abuse (sexual or otherwise) is probably the most Evil thing I can think of - and that's Evil with a capital "E".

I understand the value of going through tests. I believe that many of the horrible things that happen in the world have a reason and a place in the grand scheme of things. I can have faith and trust in God in most all things in life. I can deal with murder. I can deal with infant mortality. I can deal with natural disasters. But this...I just don't know.

Healing from traumatic events is important, I am certain of that. And praying and meditating can help, I believe that too. But where do you begin to truly heal from something like that? How do you start? I am completely overwhelmed just trying to imagine how difficult it must be. How can you heal your inner child from something so hideous? I am really at a loss.

Any feedback, thoughts and/or support on this would be greatly appreciated.

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"Therefore all they that devour thee shall be devoured; and all thine adversaries, every one of them, shall go into captivity; and they that spoil thee shall be a spoil, and all that prey upon thee will I give for a prey.

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after." (King James Bible, Jeremiah 30:16-17)

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"...if one deals with objects of the sense
Not loving and not hating, making them
Serve his free soul, which rests serenely lord,
Lo! such a man comes to tranquillity;
And out of that tranquillity shall rise
The end and healing of his earthly pains,
Since the will governed sets the soul at peace." (Hindu, Bhagavad Gita (Edwin Arnold tr))

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"Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise." (Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 262)

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The Nature of Evil

(Photo courtesy of ©Isabel Castaño.www.isabelcastano.com)

What is “evil” to you? A bully in school? A corrupt politician? A murderer? A terrorist? A demon hiding in the shadows ready to jump out and possess your soul? All of the above?

I think it is all of those things (in a way). I believe that "evil" is just the absence of "good". Each and every one of us are pure, noble, creations of God and our true reality is a spiritual one. But because that reality has to go through a "human" existence here on earth, we are given the opportunity to live up to our spiritual, "good" nature......or not.

It is at those times when we don't live up to our potential as spiritual, loving beings that true "evil" rears its ugly head. Those times when we show a lack or "absence" of patience, compassion, generosity and love. At those times our baser nature, what you could even call "ego" decides that what we want is more important than anyone or anything else. Our "self" gets in the way of what we know is right.

I do not believe in Satan, or demons or evil spirits that "push" us to do bad things. I believe that the "push" we feel is within ourselves and originates from our lower nature - the nature of self, of ego, of selfishness.

I think when we focus on being of service to others and on the betterment of the world as a whole - then we are exhibiting our true, spiritual nature. When we tell our selfish needs to take a hike and our "ego" to take a break, then we become more aligned with our higher, truer selves. We give "evil" the old heave-ho. LOL!

What do you think? I know there are a huge array of thoughts on this subject so please share them! And of course, quotes from your spiritual belief system would be awesome! I have posted a few below that I found to be compelling.

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As long as man is a captive of habit, pursuing the dictates of self and desire, he is vanquished and defeated. This passionate personal ego takes the reins from his hands, crowds out the qualities of the divine ego and changes him into an animal, a creature unable to judge good from evil, or to distinguish light from darkness. He becomes blind to divine attributes, for this acquired individuality, the result of an evil routine of thought becomes the dominant note of his life." (Abdu'l-Baha, Divine Philosophy, p. 133)

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"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." (King James Bible, Matthew 6:22-24)

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"By oneself is evil done,
By oneself does one get defiled,
By oneself is evil left undone,
By oneself is one purified.
Purity or impurity depends on oneself,
No one can purify another." (Buddhist, Dhammapada - Sayings of the Buddha 3 (tr. J. Richards))

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"There! for that ye did rejoice in the land without right; and for that ye did exult; enter ye the gates of hell, to dwell therein for aye; for evil is the resort of those who are too big with pride!" (The Qur'an (E.H. Palmer tr), Sura 40 - The Believer)

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"The reality underlying this question is that the evil spirit, Satan or whatever is interpreted as evil, refers to the lower nature in man. This baser nature is symbolized in various ways. In man there are two expressions, one is the expression of nature, the other the expression of the spiritual realm. The world of nature is defective. Look at it clearly, casting aside all superstition and imagination. If you should leave a man uneducated and barbarous in the wilds of Africa, would there be any doubt about his remaining ignorant? God has never created an evil spirit; all such ideas and nomenclature are symbols expressing the mere human or earthly nature of man. It is an essential condition of the soil of earth that thorns, weeds and fruitless trees may grow from it. Relatively speaking, this is evil; it is simply the lower state and baser product of nature." (Abdu'l-Baha, Foundations of World Unity, p. 77)

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"Music as a ladder for your souls..."

I really strongly believe that music can lift us up when we are down, reinvigorate us when we are tired, enlighten us when we are lost. There is something about certain types of music that really make me feel good. Sometimes the songs may be slow and contemplative, other times they may be upbeat and energetic, but regardless there are certain songs and or music that move me.

Check out the mantra sung below by a Buddhist nun from Nepal...



Isn't that beautiful? (Thank you Bryan for posting it to Facebook). It is that type of simple, beautiful music that just takes my soul away and lifts it up! I love it! I need to remember how powerful music is in lifting the soul when it is down. I thought with this weeks blog I could share some of my very favorite uplifting/beautiful/contemplative pieces of music or chants that make me feel closer to that Something which is higher than myself. And you all could share yours! Here they are in no particular order...

"Armed" - Devon Gundry
"One" - U2 feat. Mary J. Blige
"Let it Be" - Carol Woods and Timothy T. Mitchum
"Universal Prayer" - Dave Stringer (Thank you Aminda for that one)
"Stand by Me" - Playing for Change
"Here's Where I Stand" - Camp Soundtrack
"You Walk With Me" - The Full Monty Soundtrack
"Bring Him Home" - Les Miserables Soundtrack
"In The Deep" - Bird York
"Papa, Can You Hear Me?" - Barbara Streisand
"Falling Slowly" - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
"Seasons of Love" - Rent Soundtrack
"Imagine" - David Archuleta
"What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong
"Night Hath Succeeded Day" - KC Porter
"Jewel in the Lotus" - Jack Lenz
"Breathe Me" - Sia
"Fix You" - Coldplay
"Over the Rainbow" - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

What are some of your favorites that really make you feel at peace and a little more at one with the universe? As always, share quotes also if you'd like.

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"...in this new age the Manifest Light hath, in His holy Tablets, specifically proclaimed that music, sung or played, is spiritual food for soul and heart. The musician's art is among those arts worthy of the highest praise, and it moveth the hearts of all who grieve. Wherefore, O thou Shahnaz,[1] play and sing out the holy words of God with wondrous tones in the gatherings of the friends, that the listener may be freed from chains of care and sorrow, and his soul may leap for joy and humble itself in prayer to the realm of Glory." (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 112)

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"Let our city shrines and chaityas with a lofty music shake,
And ourpriests to bright Immortals grateful gifts and offerings make,
Bards, reciters of Puranas, minstrels versed in ancient song,
Women with their tuneful voices lays of sacred love prolong,
Let our queens and stately courtiers step in splendour and in state,
Chieftains with their marshalled forces range along the city gate,
And our white-robed holy Brahmans hymn and sacred mantras sing." (Hindu, Ramayana (R. Dutt, abridged tr))

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"Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely." (King James Bible, Psalms 147:1)

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"The treasure of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, is obtained by singing the Glorious Praises of the Lord of the Universe, and centering one's mind in meditation on Him." (Shri Guru Granth Sahib, Section 10 - Raag Dayv)

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"We, verily, have made music as a ladder for your souls, a means whereby they may be lifted up unto the realm on high..." (Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 38)

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What are you MOST afraid of?

What are you MOST afraid of? Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought it appropriate to post one of my videos that I developed for www.SoulPancake.com last year. Go ahead and watch my video directly below. It is only three and a half minutes long:



I really enjoyed filming that video and I think I got a good variety of honest answers from people. If I were to answer the question honestly, the thing I am most afraid of is not being a good enough person. I don't want to move on from this world without having developed and grown as an individual as much as I possibly can in the time that I have. I am constantly worried that I may be squandering my opportunities to make a difference and/or grow as a human being and that terrifies me. I don't believe that I will have another chance to do better so I want to make sure I do my very best right now.

Here are some quotes from different world faiths on fear. As always please share your thoughts, quotes and stories - and for this post let me know what scares YOU the most.

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"Those who fear what they should not fear
and do not fear what they should fear,
such people, following false doctrines, enter the wrong path." (Buddhist, Dhammapada - Sayings of the Buddha 2 (tr. J. Richards))

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"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." (King James Bible, Psalms 23:4)

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"Good is the Intellect which comprehends
The coming forth and going back of life,
What must be done, and what must not be done,
What should be feared, and what should not be feared,
What binds and what emancipates the soul" (Hindu, Bhagavad Gita (Edwin Arnold tr))

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"It is clear and evident that all men shall, after their physical death, estimate the worth of their deeds, and realize all that their hands have wrought. I swear by the Day Star that shineth above the horizon of Divine power! They that are the followers of the one true God shall, the moment they depart out of this life, experience such joy and gladness as would be impossible to describe, while they that live in error shall be seized with such fear and trembling, and shall be filled with such consternation, as nothing can exceed." (Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 171)

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How did we become so mean?

Bullying is in the news a lot lately and it is really getting to me. There have been a slew of teen suicides revolving around gossip, name-calling, backbiting or just plain mean-spiritedness. I am not going to recount any of the numerous stories here, if you listen to the news at all you've heard them. But it is truly beyond me how we have let our nation, our culture, our society, become this warped, ugly, nasty version of ourselves.

And I don't care who's fault it is either, it doesn't matter. Religion, schools, media, parents... doesn't matter. What matters is our dedication to changing away from what we've become. We can make this world what we want it to be. Do we want it to be a world where children as young as eleven feel so alone, hurt and humiliated that suicide is their best answer? I know I don't.

I also know that each and every one of us has to take some responsibility for our own behavior. We (as adults) are supposed to set the example, and I know there are plenty of times where we don't. Why? How did we become so mean? What joy does humiliating others bring us? What kind of happiness does backbiting about our neighbor fulfill? What satisfaction is created by gossiping about our co-workers? Seriously. Don't we know better? Where has our conscience gone? Has it taken some sort of endless break?



If we want to turn the tide on this bullying epidemic then I think it begins with each one of us as an individual. We can't be bystanders anymore. If we care about changing the world it all begins within us, and I think we need to go back to basics, i.e. "the Golden Rule". This is the very foundation of peace and the core of our humanity. We need to rekindle it in our hearts - love and compassion for every living soul - even the bullies - because I promise you they weren't born that way.

Here are some thoughtful quotes on this topic from various world scriptures. And as always, please leave your own quotes and/or thoughts.

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"(A true seeker)... must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century." (Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 264)

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"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit." (King James Bible, Proverbs 15:4)

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"O ye who believe! let not one class ridicule another who are perchance better than they; nor let women ridicule other women who are perchance better than they; and do not defame each other, nor call each other bad names-an ill name is iniquity after faith! O ye who believe! carefully avoid suspicion; verily, some suspicion is a sin. And do not play the spy, nor backbite each other; would one of you like to eat his dead brother's flesh?- why! ye would abhor it! then fear God; verily, God is relentant, compassionate." (The Qur'an (E.H. Palmer tr), Sura 49 - The Inner Chambers)

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"He avoids tale-bearing, and abstains from it. What he has heard here, he does not repeat there, so as to cause dissension there; and what he heard there, he does not repeat here, so as to cause dissension here. Thus he unites those that are divided; and those that are united, he encourages. Concord gladdens him, he delights and rejoices in concord, and it is concord that he spreads by his words.

He avoids harsh language, and abstains from it. He speaks such words as are gentle, soothing to the ear, loving, going to the heart, courteous and dear, and agreeable to many." ((The Eightfold Path), Buddha, the Word (The Eightfold Path))

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Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe." (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 73)

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"Let them purify their sight and behold all humankind as leaves and blossoms and fruits of the tree of being. Let them at all times concern themselves with doing a kindly thing for one of their fellows, offering to someone love, consideration, thoughtful help. Let them see no one as their enemy, or as wishing them ill, but think of all humankind as their friends; regarding the alien as an intimate, the stranger as a companion, staying free of prejudice, drawing no lines." (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 1)

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